Monday 30 January 2012

Incorrectly Political

Why do so many people think we live in a nanny state that prohibits freedom of speech about race, religion and sexuality?

I’m sure the observant among you will have heard complaints regarding political correctness poking an unnecessary nose into our affairs. There are stories of schools banning ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’, and claims that you can no longer say ‘black bag’ or ‘blackboard’. There are people who genuinely believe they lost out on a job because of positive discrimination, and there are parents who hear reports of no more school nativity plays and fear that Sharia is one step closer.  

The right wing media (for convenience I will use the term The Daily Mail), are the main propagators of these kind of stories. The Mail is famous for its open fear of immigration, non-Christian religion, homosexuality, and the general debauchery that occasionally blights today’s world. As a commercial publication, it relies upon scaring the living daylights out of UKIP voters as much as The Daily Sport relies on Katie Price dating suckers. Some members of the public, unfortunately, aren’t all equipped with either the ability, or the inclination to critique each item on the newsstand before they make their mind up. Mail readers tend to always be Mail readers. Worse still, Mail readers sometimes aren’t even readers. They are sons and daughters of Mail readers. They turn up to school, college or work already conditioned in the art of instinctive defence. Some desperately want to be able to use the word ‘Paki’, and all over they think they can see minorities getting away with much worse. They still can’t get their head around the whole N-word debate. They slowly accept the view that in a couple of years we’ll have to fight in the streets to put up Christmas lights. They are tragically undereducated on an already foggy issue.

On the other hand, the targets of the tabloids often appear to be asking for it. You only need to watch Question Time on a Thursday night and watch for the questions regarding religion, crime, and immigration. You suddenly feel a chill when you realise these people also operate behind closed doors. George Galloway blames the London citizens for Al Qaeda, Theresa May chastises Salman Rushdie for offending terrorists. The majority of the panel will also dodge questions about illegal immigration by talking irrelevantly about the benefits of legal immigration. They are unable to say the right thing because of political correctness, and end up being much more offensive. The reason why there is no uproar is because the newly offended are safe targets. In essence: you shouldn't offend a Christian but you are allowed to offend an atheist.

Have any of you got a sense of humour that goes close to the bone but you know your intentions are pure? Under new workplace laws, that kind of humour can get you fired. Why? Because your colleague may not get the nuances that a seasoned Larry David or Louis CK fan would, and this could ascend all the way to the top. What could once be registered as a friendship issue now has the long arm of the law flapping above it. Coffee breaks are now 15 minute intervals of forced banality. I’m not saying every waking moment should contain a philosophical debate but there should always be the opportunity for one, just as there should be opportunities for every sort of conversation. If we have free speech then anything is possible. You’re allowed to fight back, burst into tears or storm out of the room but you can’t stop people talking. You shouldn’t have the law on your side. This is basic stuff but the legal side of political correctness corrupts it.

If I’m being truly honest, I feel incredible anger when I hear ignorant and bigoted remarks. I desperately want the mouths saying them to shut. That is my heart though. My head tells me to allow them every right I allow myself. If it turns bad, there are proper laws to stop them going any further. I’ll be the judge of how offended I should be thank you very much. If someone starts to criticise my beliefs or lifestyle I do not want to be able to say to them: “let’s stop right there, you’re not allowed to say that kind of thing”. I want to be able to say: “You are an idiot sir, but I’ll fight to the death for your right to call me the same”.

So I suppose this blog entry has a couple of purposes. Firstly, I don’t want to hear any of you complaining that you have to substitute ‘Merry Christmas’ for ‘Happy Holidays’. Of course you don’t! Also, please don’t pretend that a Somali child won a place at a school because of their origins unless you have the paperwork to prove it. If a checkout worker pulls you up on calling a bin bag ‘black’, politely ask them what colour they would prefer you to use, but don’t claim that it is a worldwide epidemic. A cancelled nativity play isn’t Pearl Harbour; it is what is commonly known as ‘political correctness gone mad’. Treat it as such. Otherwise our society will look like a wounded animal and it may start to behave like one.

Now then, if you are the rule makers taking offence on other people’s behalf, then try to analyse why you do it. You will find that these rules are usually inspired by fear. Don’t insult Catholics in Northern Ireland; you’ll get a brick through the window. Don’t offend Islam or you’ll get a bomb in the post. Cowardly motives I’m sure you’ll agree, but at least they have a truth to them. After the storm has passed, however, these motives evolve into pure compassion for the offended with no defence for the offender. Often the supposedly offended don't even know it has happened; a bewildered middle manager has to inform them. What sense of logic and justice can possibly remain in such a situation?

So if you are an evolved primate at the human end of the scale then will you first try to avoid jumping to conclusions whenever you read a hazy tabloid article? Then you have the right to tackle the other side of the coin when you are confronted with a genuine bullshit law. Contact your local MP and tell them that you do not wish to live in a benign dictatorship where the party slogan is, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all”. If he responds, “a lot of people could be offended by that”, then contact the Daily Mail and have your bank card ready.

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